November 2024
Dear Church Family,
I’ve been thinking about grief quite a bit lately - if that feels a bit too
sad, please keep reading, because grief is also tightly connected to love and
hope... As the weather turns quickly into crisp autumn days, the winter
holidays are looming on the horizon which are times we tend to feel loss more
acutely. November 1st is a day recognized within the church as All Saints Day, which we honor each year the following Sunday (this year Sun Nov 3). Saints being those who have gone before us in the faith, dear ones we give gratitude to God for, and have passed on to glory to know Christ fully. We recall their gifts to us - things spoken, things shared, services offered, compassion given. Reflecting on these people who have been dear gifts to us is often a ‘both/and’ space - when we reflect on memories, we often hold both joy and sadness, laughter and pain, the weariness of life alongside the deep gratitude and love we continue to hold for them. In a recent Marvel miniseries called Wandavision, one character shares the perspective, ‘what is grief, if not love persevering?’
I’m reminded how often the psalms and other scriptures have the ability to hold two feelings like this at the same time, knowing that we aren’t just sad or just grateful. We are often both (or even more emotions mixed together). Both joy and sadness sit together. Perhaps longing is cozy alongside gratitude, and frustration is hand in hand with trusting God. I think throughout scripture we are given permission slips to express all the deep things we carry, alongside claiming God’s presence and goodness in the midst of whatever is going on. Christ’s invitation is always towards hope - but never at the cost of forgetting the past completely, or ignoring hurt, pain or loss. We don’t strive for toxic positivity, pretending everything is just fine and trying to prove it to the world around us. We are invited to lift up our laments, our grief, how we may be missing our loved one, or our failed expectations and losses - so that God might hold our hand as we move forward towards hope.
And moving forwards feels like the hardest part. I don’t want it to sound dismissive - sometimes ‘moving on’ can feel like an invitation to forget, or to stop looking behind us. But what is behind us has helped make us who we are, so we can’t let go that easily. We are invited to understand what has shaped us, and hold on to Christ as we take baby steps forward. I’ve been thinking about this regarding loss of a loved one - asking questions of how they have helped shape who I am becoming, and what step could I take that might honor their memory?
And grief isn’t just about when someone has passed on. It is linked to any kind of loss, particularly when our expectations have not been met. I think about grief related to letting go of the ways we used to do things, particularly in our faith communities. The richness we experienced a generation ago is still here but looks a lot different - what steps could we take as a church to honor our past while living into a new future? Maybe there are things in your life that are not what you thought they’d be - you imagined yourself further along than you are. Allowing ourselves to grieve alongside God means recognizing and accepting what is, while actively pursuing the hope Christ has planted inside you, one step at a time. I included at the top of this piece a picture of the changing leaves on a crisp day - a physical reminder of change that happens every year, something that can look a lot like death but ends up leading to a new season of life in due time. And throughout the changes are different versions of beauty, growth, and release.
Incremental change is so tedious, yet it does seem to be the pathway towards lasting growth. I pray you would open up to God’s presence today - welcoming the reality of what is, so that you might grab onto the Spirit’s movement as you take a step towards tomorrow. May Christ’s love and compassion enfold you in whatever you may be grieving, so that you can mourn and celebrate what has been and what will be!
Blessings, Pastor Becca
